King Balougar had an affair with a reptilian humanoid prince 100 thousand years ago. Being mortal homophobic enemies, the head contingencies summon their representative from the Church Of The Enraged And Unremitting Dead Souls. The King was turned into a fly that was swallowed by the amphibian, that was put into suspended animation, that got frozen into a meteorite, and shot out of the galaxy from planet Hemmaroid that plummeted to Earth,and suffered pollution. In the early 1980's the meteor was discovered in Beatrice Boyds backyard and the frog unearthed, when a bungalow was being built for her incontinent husband.

DR JOHANNES BLOFLI.

It is of great pleasure for me to announce today the most significant and important piece involved within this collection. The Balougar frog is the only one of its kind known. If it wasn't for Frank Boyds angry spate of incontinence and my extremely knowledgeable assistant Barnaby who assisted in the 52 day extraction dig, this frog before you would not be possible. My extensive experience with human engineering tells me the future in regard to this frog has great potential since a humanoid DNA strand was discovered within the makeup. Hopefully in a few years I will assist in the funding for the first humanoid Amphibinite cross clone for all humanity's benefit, and therefore is by far the most impressive piece in this collection.

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

Customs Interview Number: 459
Name: Jason Taddie
Exhibit A: North American Tree Frog (see photo)
Charge: Smuggling the frog in a modified aluminum thermos

Jason Taddie-
My frog passion started when I was a young city boy. My father would take me to the country and we would spend all day collecting frogs in jars. We would take them home, I would play with them for a while, document my collection and then release them into the garden.
I spent every spare moment reading about frogs, breeding frogs, loving frogs. Unless you have learnt to love and respect frogs you will never understand why this frog was so important to me.
I traveled to the States in search of the Nth American Wood frog, it took me 2 months of searching and liaising with some pretty strange characters, but finally I got one. It cost me four thousand dollars to have the tiny freezing system specially made, it worked beautifully.
The Wood frog can be frozen, their heart stops beating, they totally shut down, but when you thaw them out, their hearts kick back in and they come back to life with no side-effects. Do you know what that means? We can learn so much from these frogs, you can't take it away from me, I have worked so hard for so many years just to possess this amazing creature!

 

 

Exhibit A

The Very Reverend Carmel Nunce

We are fortunate to have come into possession of this frog before it could do too much damage. It must be thawed and destroyed for two reasons.

  1. Cryogenics is not part of Gods plan for us, it is not mentioned in the Bible. The research that this particular frozen Wood frog encourages is not natural and will benefit no-one. We just don't know what will result when we start experimenting with nature. (See Pineappilus giganticus)
    God didn't create life for us to defy it.

  2. After years of undercover research into witchcraft and wiccas, I have come to the conclusion that the present lack of frogs reflects the increase in satanic activities practiced by witches.

    Frogs are evil creatures conspiring with these pagans to do the devils work. They are poisonous vessels, producing and carrying powerful chemicals which can be used as hallucinogens or poisons.
    Frog prince propaganda is used to lure young unsuspecting Christians into the devils clutches.
    The tools of the devil must be stamped out and people like Mr James Taddie must be made an example of, punished to the full extent of the law.

 

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