Object: #007.AIMOdA
PREPARE THYSELF
Hopology

There has bee a lot of publicity over the legendary Rokhopper, Scientist have been disputing over its origin, since its discovery in 1907. Argue no more for I have been chosen to step forward and deliver the truth. Rokhoppers are a highly intelligent species from the planet Hemmariod, they worked on our planet 65 million years ago. If it were not for them our earth would still be plagued with dinosaurs. We owe the Rokhoppers our existence, so I ask you all to join me in worship. Constapashon, there leader, our lord has come to me in spirit and asked me to prepare the world for the second coming, were he will take us to Hemmariod to live peacefully in paradise. Lord Constapashon has infected me with a wonderful drug that allows my body to adapt to Hemmariod. It is now my honor to infect the world with this beautiful drug. To do this I must fornicate with the worlds most beautiful people.

Call now to reserve a place
Ugly people need not apply

History of Rokhopperus rex By Dr Winston Osmolska Paleoinvertabrateologist from the National Museum of Natural History in California. In 1907 R.C Eberhard an engineering geologist was prospecting for minerals in an area in Tanzania in an area 40 km inland from the African east coast.

On one of his field trips he came across what appeared to be a six foot long fossilised antennae protruding from a piece of rock. He reported these finds back to the company he worked for and fortunately, Professor Charles Barsbold, a well known paleoinvertabratologist was staying in the colony at the time and was sent out to inspect the site.

Barsbold collected fragments of the antennae and took it back to the Berlin Museum of Natural History in his homeland of Germany. There they were first cleaned and described by Dr W.C Janesnsch who concluded that that the fragments belonged to a new species of of late cretaceous invertebrate and named the species Drycilliocanthus astrodon (large prehistoric bug-like creature that possibly shows signs of gigantism) and placed the fossilsin museum storage.

There they stayed for 67 years until in 1962 after a sixties dinosaur backlash (similar to the disco backlash of the nineteen eighties) they where unearthed and placed on display by Dr J. Branca, then curator of the museum to boost public attendance figures.

This sparked a sudden newfound interest in the specimen and in 1965 the museum managed to gather funds to send a small expedition, lead by Professor Richard Perle of the British Museum of Natural History to return to Tanzania in search of more clues to the fossils origin.

After four years of digging in the African wilderness, Perle returned with what appeared to be a complete fossilised ecto-skeleton of the animal and renamed it Grasshopperus rex (30 ft tall giant flesh eating tyrant grasshopper who may or may not have lived in the late cretaceous of Tanzania).

It was then put forward by paleontologist Jack Jensen that there was no grass in the late cretaceous as it was yet to evolve and the specimen was renamed Rokhopperus rex (30 ft tall giant flesh eating tyrant rockhopper that may or may not have lived in the late cretaceous of Tanzania). It was then in 1992 after a world tour of the fossil that I was asked by Professor R.U Feltcherer of the entomology department at the University of California at Berkeley to re-describe the fossil with a more modern approach, as the views about prehistoric invertebrates had changed significantly over the eighty odd years since its discovery.

After close examination of the fossil I concluded that far from being a slow dimwitted creature doomed for extinction as previously thought, the rokhopper was actually an agile fast moving predator that was capable of very complex and possible social behavior.

The idea that these creatures nursed their young and then quite possibly ate them is not as far fetched as it may sound. I was drawn to this conclusion for a number of anatomical factors. Firstly the Rokhopper has very powerful gripping forearms and teeth-like blades that are clearly designed for tearing and chewing flesh. In order to therefore catch its prey it must have been as capable if not more so at moving fast.

As its most likely prey was large herbivorous dinosaurs and most scientists now view dinosaurs as warm-blooded nimble creatures it can be safely assumed that the same view can apply to the rokhopper. This theory is further backed up by Dr Bill Barker, who in 1994 made an astounding observation.

He noted that the back legs of the rokhopper were remarkably similar to that of the modern day grasshopper and that they too would have been capable of propelling the animal through the air, not unlike its modern day descendant. Could the rokhopper have used this feature to leap onto unsuspecting prey? I think so considering the overwhelming evidence in support of it being a active stealthful carnivore.

The so called 'wings' however have recently caused much heated debate throughout the scientific community. Previously it had always been thought that these were large external gills capable of absorbing oxygen through the blood filled capillaries that flowed through them. These gills would have allowed the animal to prey on large marine reptiles and many scholars felt this was a strong indication that the large marine reptile such as the plesiosaurs actually thrived right up to the end of the Mesozoic rather than slipping into extinction some eighty-five million ears prior at the end of the Jurassic period.

Personally, I believe that the fact that the marine reptiles perished long before the existence of the Rokhoppers only weakens the argument of gills, let alone strengthen one for post-Jurassic plesiosaurs.

However these days most of the scientific community agrees one a few points;

1) That the rokhopper existed in the time frame known as the late cretaceous on a land mass that later became known as Tanzania.

2) That the rokhopper was, unlike its present day descendants, carnivorous and capable of tackling large prey. Finally...

3) that the rokhopper used its powerful legs to leap long distances, possibly whilst hunting for prey.

It must be stressed that this is the opinion of myself and most of the scientific community and by no means is the only theory on the lifestyle of this amazing species. One scientist who's views have got allot of attention are those of Dr Johannes Blofli.

 

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