Object: #314q.AIMOdA

Interview with Mr Mitzuku Sumo (Hiroshima Metropolitan Garbage Collector) - translated from Japanese:

"If I had not experienced it with my own vision I would not have the courage to tell you my story of this. Yesterday, I was uplifting the bin of my working day into the truck of garbage when a narrow, flapping man in a snow-coloured coat and spectacles is galloping and shouting at myself. I remember most strongly many small cuts of mystery on the man's face. I could not interpret his English abusings, but I do feel that he would enjoy taking from me the final bin. He does this with rude vigour. I am next excited to watch this man turn downside-up the final bin on to his head and to extract from the bin a dirt-smelling old toy. Many insects also are attaching themselves to this man's happy smiling crazy head. I think this man to be escaped from somewhere institutional, but he is running away fast and the police force should only kill him soon."

Interview with Carl Strauss conducted after the publication of the Very Reverend Carmel Nunce's paper 'The Leota and it's role in the ascendency of the Muski race'

So, it was like this, right: I was listening to the Reverend giving one of those sermons of hers about frozen witch frogs or somesuch, when I saw something out the corner of my eye. I looked all 'round the congregation but everyone was just staring at the Reverend, squirming in their pews. Ever snce that scandal with the super-speedy wafer dispenser things just haven't been the same. So, I kind of snuck out, not that anyone even noticed, they were all too wrapped up in the Reverend's sinner stories. So, I get outside and there is the bird, half cross-eyed and flapping about. It was trying to get up but both wings were broken. I figured the best thing would be to put it out of it's misery. I put me foot on its head and pressed. I didn't want to ruin me best Church-goin' shoes so I just pressed firm for as long as I could. Not a big stomp. Anyways, I was holding the tree trunk for balance and pressing with me foot, I could hear the bones snapping, when there was a cry from right behind me. Who should it be but the Reverend! Jeez, I thought I'd be stoned fot it or somethin'. I had to think fast. I know how much the Rev likes old stuff so I just grabbed it by the tail and made up a story about how I'd found it at the bottom of the quarry where I drive one of them earth movers. You should'a seen her face light up! And then all the congregation started asking me questions and I got caught up in it all. You know how it is...they never even noticed me before. I don't know what came over me but all of a sudden I put it on me head and started saying that's how they wore it. Call it divine inspiration. I was the centre of attention, getting invited to dinner and prayer meetings and stuff. People asked me opinion on al manner of things. I guess I got carried away. Anyhow, that's the truth and I guess now it's all over for me at the Church. In a way I'm glad. I was getting all them experts askin' me stuff and, the thing is, I'm not the book-learnin' type."

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