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Considered opinion x Other writing x Catalogue description

by the Museum Curator
Honorary Fellow Francisco de la Muerte PhD MF

The cyclical trend of life is reflected in this marvelous and unique artefact from Antarctica. It represents three Relaxis penguins in a sideways stance, a characteristic of threatening behaviour.

In the preparatory phases to penguin orgies - probably between the mixing of an early version of Long Island ice teas and the making of kahlua slush puppies - incantations would be made to the Bacchanal Triad to implore for her protection against an early version of the polar bear, a notoriously rude and voracious gate-crasher. A good omen would be interpreted as a counter-clockwise rotation of the item while the opposite direction would herald a doomed party.

Any notions that the artefact is incomplete and would have included a snowdome displaying the Sydney Harbour bridge under the snow should be discredited.

Among the plethora of interpretations on the extinction of Relaxis is the fact that they wore slippers made out of fish skin, a precursor of the TEE HES soles adopted by the shiatsu afficionados. Invariably, bears would have detected the pungent scent and predated on the species.

Name Bacchanal Triad
ID No #305
Description Religious artefact from the basal beds of the Chabat river in Antarctica.
Size 50x50x30 cm
Composition Petrified ice-chips and lichen.
Age Ca. 65 million years ago.

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