Interview with the Chris

So what do you talk about with someone you hardly know? Weather, sport, movies or the price of cheese in Chechnya? Well sport and movies are likely to give too much away - and everybody knows cheddar is standardized at AU$1.55 a kilo throughout the whole Special Administrative Area of Chechnya so...the topic of temperature is raised a total of 12 times but don't laugh because he doesn't own a jumper yet, in fact he just learnt the meaning of the word.

L:You came down from Townsville?

C: From Townsville in North Queensland, and er, arrived here in the middle of a heatwave so it felt like I hadn't actually left home. So it was pretty disgusting and er, the wierd thing about houses here is that none of them have ceiling fans which is just standard, every single house you've ve got ceiling fans and we were dying in this little rental house.

L: Yeah?

C: Yeah it was horrible. Going to the shops here in Melbourne I don't think people see warm weather coming here in Melbourne. They had sold out of fans at K-Mart so er, it was a pretty unpleasant introduction but a week later I as freezing my arse off so, er, the Melbourne weather came back.

L Did you have to go around and look for a place or did you have a place lined up?

C: Actually a guy that I used to work with in Townszille just in a casual job at er, the library there had come down a year before to do a Graduate Diploma of his own - that was just a tack-on so he could do library work. He couldn't the transport?

C: Um well, i am used to the idea of them. Every couple of years the family would come here for Christmas and things but its still means that I have only ever been here is the warm weather. Your - Christmas in Melbourne's version of warm weather

L:Yeah.

C:And I have never ever lived through something where top temperatures are going to be as low as everyone says.

L: Yeah.

C: It was cold for me this morning getting out of the house...

L: And that was what...15 degrees?

C: Yeah (both laugh)..so ah, the lowest things ever go at home is probably you know ah, 10 degrees would be an extremely unusual winter for it to sink down to. And that is like minimum, you know.

L: Yeah and thats what we are looking at for a top in Winter here with the cold wind, blowing off the bay.

C: So I may never be seen in the middle of this year.

L: So you have moved into a house and now you are looking for people to move in?

C: We have got one more to go...

L: Has that been a good way to meet people?

C: Ah...yeah...if only! Erm, could have put the ads in the singles columns but actually we haven't gone through that many people, its just taken ages for anyone to show up at all...but once we started getting people coming along it wasnt too bad. We have had a fine artist who was pretty easy going, very easy conversation but she really needed a studio and there is just, our place doesn't even come close. What we are actually giving people is pretty shit if I do say so myself its a tack on to the back of the house which has been added well, sometime after they decided that the kind of architecture that the house, the main structure was made of was worth duplicating for its style so all the back windows are just these huge flat bay windows in a kind of 1960's style. Um and that whole back room is freezing cold and I wouldn't want to... L: Freezing cold and its been summer. How do you know its freezing cold?

C: Whenever its, if it cold then that room is colder and if its hot then youre gonna fry in there.

L: You think there is some poltergeist activity in there?

C: Oh definetely there are all these flies attached to the window and priests won't go in there but also its got the prime location. Its straight across from the toilet and gee, we should put that in our ads, that would have them in in droves.

L: So who is going to cut the grass. Do you have grass?

C: Actuallywe do we have a comparatively big yard that the landlord says will get mowed by, believe it or not, her father er who hasn't showed yet and its looking pretty kind of jungley.

L: So the first time you see him might be at 6 am on a Sunday morning?

C: Yeah thats likely. But maybe this is a good middle ground because one of the other people who, once again used to work in the library in Townsville - the libraries of Townsville have populated Melbourne lately- has just left a place where the greek landlord would come around not quite every fortnight and sort of stick his head in the door unexpectedly on the premise of doing the gardening but they were getting to know him more than they wanted to. He was a little bit creepy actually so they moved on. But he would also let himself in unexpectedly which from my understanding isn't legal but nevermind.

L: Any quotes to go out on?

C: I regret nothing!

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