Past Events

G'day Surfrides, this is what you've missed out on if you havn't been to any events yet!

It'll be a bit more organised soon.

1st PUB CRAWL - 17th Febuary:

As usual the RMIT SurfRiders kicked off the year with a monumental pub crawl. As usual most people disgraced themselves. As usual the trail of destruction left in our wake will be something to tell the grandkiddies. Not only was it the SurfRiders, but windsurfing, water skiing, Triathlon, Inline Skate and Alpine too!
Starting off at the remodelled Oxford was always going to be a challenge. The fresh carpets, clean (almost) toilets hardly fitted the image of a hard club like the SurfRiders. Handling it like pros, we just held them up to our mouths and got it down our throats. The smart money was on those seen leaving early to get to the Stork and a seat. The really poor money was on the people getting cornered by drunken locals. The Stork returned us to our roots of sticky carpet and toilets which would be at home in any 3rd world country. Thankfully the customary drink served to us from a forgotten race of neanderthals was beer. Even it was as flat as a tack and yes the service was crap.
By far the highlight of the night (apart from the many drunken incidents we'd rather not mention here due to threatened legal action) had to be the Turf Club.

Going ORRRFFF, is a bit of a light term for the odyssey that is $1 pots. Quiz: What goes well with $1 pots? If you're thinking a bucket - half points, but if you're on for a drinking game and a boat race is it - full points and a pick of the board (just don't pick that Kilbey chick from Australia's Funniest Home Video show).
The traditional foes of the SurfRiders, the wimpy windsurfers were decimated in an all out attack as we all sculled pints of straight vodka instead of pots of beer, while juggling 3 cats and a chainsaw each. And we still won. Well that's how we remember it, anyway.
A round of applause for the people who made it to the Moosehead and PA's and... er... And that's about it as most people's brains had gone to mush by about then. Ultimate kudos go out to the nutters who thought Goo until 5am in the morning was a good idea. It would have been for most of us if we could have remembered our own names.
Watch out for plenty more photos in the next newsletter!

Best beer of the night: The free ones for the boat races.
Luckiest chuck of the night: Shawn from Inline Skate landed a carrot and yellow stuff fiesta only about a foot from the pool table at the Moosehead while talking to a few Surfriders.
Best score of the night: Well we didn't, so don't ask us! See the Dirt Files for more.

-By Chris Hill

TORQUAY - 12-24 March:

A fine weekend away was had by all. Possibly the first camp in years that no one copped a speeding ticket on the way down, although by the sad look of all the cars at the camp site, not many looked like they would have been able.
A surprising number of people actually thought they could drink the night after the pub crawl. Some could. Some tried. And some tried and failed miserably.

Chuck list: In the great tradition of the Surfriders, we keep count on the spews of each trip and event.
The overseas dude who ralphed in the big green tent.
Amanda, Adam… Any more?

Some great, clean waves (if a tad on the small side) greeted those who joined the Learn to Surf lessons down at Anglesea. With a water temperature of 20 degrees, shrinkage was kept to a minimum.
Saturday night was (yet another) blinder including some rather hot (read: spiked with chilli) BBQ shapes that someone slipped in for good measure.

Worst stuff up: Ben and Dean. Generally. Why? Not only did Dean leave a huge dint in the roof of their car when he climbed over it (or was it Ben), they also proceeded to lock the keys in the car, with the interior lights on (of course!). No fear however, in the morning the master criminals proceeded to try and break in with any piece of metal they could find. After finally getting in (and leaving an immovable piece stuck in the passenger side door lock), the battery was dead flat. All in all great stuff guys. (Oh and they missed the surf lesson after sleeping in).

-By Chris Hill

OFFSHORE FESTIVAL - 17th Febuary:

This wasn’t really publicised much except for a few posters around the place and notices in on the club pigeon holes by the gym in Bldg 8 and in the Tafe (So look at those next time!)

Anyway, the weekend started off pretty good with most people getting to the Swanston Street meeting place on time by 8am on Friday morning with their stash of grog, sleeping bags and tents sitting beside them on the footpath. Cam, Steve and Chris ended up being drivers for the troop down to the Torquay Surf Lifesaving Club to meet some more ring-ins for the trip. Steve and some others went into Torquay to buy even more grog to stash in his car. By noon, we were off and into the farm where the Off Shore festival was being held. Now, this is where the cars get pulled apart and searched for all the booze everyone trys to smuggle in. Cam smuggled in about 4 bottles of Jim Beam in the door pannels, while Steve’s idea of hiding beer leaves something to be desired. All in all, 5 cans (nearly half his stash) were found and promptly drunk on the spot by everyone concerned before heading off to the tent area.

Fitting 12,000 people into one farm is no mean feet, but it was done (see photo). The main attraction for most people for the four day weekend were the bands. Ben Harper being the number one draw card on Sunday night, followed by Regurgitator, Blink 182, Cruel Sea, John Spencer Blues Explosion, etc. etc. The other major event to check out was the Bells Beach Pro surfing competition along with the SunSmart Classic Womens Competition held down at… yes, you guessed it, Bells Beach. This was the biggest turnout so far for the comp’s 20 odd years of activity. Sad to say, but Occy didn’t win and the shootout for the top spot went between two Hawaiians Shane Dorian (1st) and Sunny Garcia (2nd) while Mark Occhilupo (Aus) pulled a respectable 3rd and Tod Prestage (Aus) came 4th. Sunny Garcia took out Mark Occhilupo in the Semi’s and got the highest scoring heat of the competition. Terrific surfing by all concerned. The Women’s turned out well with Aussie’s coming in 1st and 2nd, Layne Beachley and Sandie Ryan respectivly.
Local boy Glyndyn Ringrose (21st place) from Phillip Island (well, kinda local) – in his first year of WCT competing – was knocked out in the third round by the eventual comp winner Shane Dorian.

Annnyyway, back to the stuff that happened on the trip. As soon as tents were set up, everyone broke into their stash of hidden goodies and proceeded to consume most of it on the first night (as you do.) Most people went  over to the band area around 8pm (excluding Cam who apparantly said he would and then promptly fell asleep, but awoke at 10pm and drank himself into a wrything mess for the following morning).  Most of the bands were pretty much shit, which probably accounts for the poor overall attendance until Saturday evening/Sunday morning.

Saturday was spent down at the Beach all day by most people, catching a glimpse and a few autographs (Agi) of the surfers. Saturday night brought on bands such as Guttermouth (really good live show! Lead singer spent most of the concert in his boxers and nearly decapitated a mosher when he threw a skateboard deck in.) Blink 182 (good music but, personally a pretty average live show – Cam violently (probably physically when he reads this) disagrees as he loves the band,) and Cruel Sea were as good live as always. Some techno mixer dude was on near the end with each night finishing up with Glen Rommanis playing the Didge. Bronwyn disappeard early in the night, later to find out that a friend had a backstage pass and she spent part of the evening talking to the lead guitarist of Guttermouth.

Sunday morning broke painfully for some, as others were dragged from their tents and off to another session down at the now fogged in Bells Beach. Most comps were postponed until late morning due to the fact that the judges couldn’t see shit. Finally the fog cleared and everyone was treated to a wonderful day of surfing, Occy kicking some guy’s arse in the surf and four mad fans doing a nude run down the beach afterwards (sorry girls, no photos… the camera would work for some reason.) The commentators ended up giving the guys two slabs for their effort (they were on the beach from Monday onwards – the start of the comp – cheering on the Aussies.)

After a good day in the sun, those that were left headed back to camp to quench their thirst with an ice cold Vic… Vic Bitter that is. All the good bands were on tonight, and the crowed numbers had visibly swollen by a few thousand drunken bastards, lighting off flairs and fireworks all night long. John Spencer Blues Explosion was as weird as ever, Regurgitator was really good, and Ben Harper just blew us all away.  After Ben Harper, most of us wandered back past the ‘Get Fucked’ flag that marked a group of tents near by and watched as some poor bastard had his tent torched. Flames leaping above the car next to it shone in the faces of the hundred or so that gathered to watch the festivities… until the rent-a-cops came flying along with the CFA to put the thing out.

Monday morning was the Semi-Final and Final for the Men’s comp, so a few die-hards (Steve, Chris, Lee, Agi, Peter, Ange…) plodded down to the bus for the long 10 minute ride down to Bells Beach, only to find out that Occy was half way through his heat! Argh… If only we had come earlier to give him support… maybe he could have won… Well we hung around and watched Shane Dorian win the comp, cheered him on and took more photos, secretly wishing the Occy was there.

Best tent area (besides ours): The guys with the picket fence and deck chairs on top of a bus.
Best laugh: When the 3 young lads were busted by the rent-a-cops for towing a guy sitting on a couch behind their car. Closely followed by the revelation of finding an exploded cooked chicken next to Chris’ tent Monday morning. And Chris saying that he finally had a good night sleep that night.
Best sight: All the burned couches littering the camp area along with the huge amounts of rubbish left by everyone. A close second : the guy waiting in line to buy a hotdog, sitting down then passing out in front of the food van, and everyone stepping over him until his mate came and picked him up.

-By Steven Tanti

1st BBQ - 14 April: G.

2nd PUB CRAWL - 15 April: G

SANDY POINT - 23-25th April:
Although the main reason of the camp was to go windsurfing, surfing and skurfing, all my memories of the camp seem to be focussed on the off-water
activities!

"What time did you guys get in?" asked Peirston, who had, to our utter amazement, managed to sleep through the raucous of the arrival of three notorious club members.  It was 3.00 Saturday morning, "we had all just gone to bed, and then these three guys wearing full face ballaclavas, came in and started running amok in the house, pulling us out of bed, slapping us with pillows, hanging off the rafters, they were really scary."   Eventually we all got back to sleep at around 4.30, only to be waken at 6.00 when the mask bandits, whose identity had since been revealed, got up and went for a surf.

After an action packed day on the water, we headed back to the pre-heated house (thanks grrls for thinking ahead and turning the heater on!), had some hot showers and then our plan was to eat some hot BBQ sausages!  We had the key in the BBQ padlock, the plyers trying to turn the key, but couldn't get it opened, so Fritz, Dave, Ellise cooked the BBQ up on the stove.  (good call that, coz it was getting mighty cold outside!)

Captain revealed that he had a bag full (well, ten infact!) of ballaclavas - with 'Spook' on the price tag!  Everyone wanted one, but Captain made us earn them.  Competition was fierce!

Bec was determined to earn her Spook, so she made a leap for the chandellier.  After five swings she was granted her Spook!  In the mean time, Cowboy, had climbed up onto the roof to check the structural integrity of the chandellier, and much to our relief, gave the chandellier a structural tick of approval!

Jullie, Almut, Shaz, Sarah, Daniel, Cowboy, Per and Martin entered the Spooky Stakes.  Up for stakes was a Spook for the first female and male. The first torchure test was to suck on three Fizz Bomb lollies, show the onlooking crowd that all the white fizz had gone, and then proceed to eat the rest of the lollie.  "This isn't an E is it?" asked one of the competitors with their face screwed up as far a face could possibly screw! Jullie was a narrow winner and was rewarded her Spook, which she was very proud of.  The male comp was too close to call, and so a second torchure test was run.  Five push ups, open a stubbie and skull it, then five more push ups and cumlinating in devouring a burnt sausage.  Daniel with blood dripping from his mouth was struggling to open his VB stubbie, but Per and Martin were right into it.  Per scoffed down the sausage to take the honours, Cowboy came in second after coming from behind to pass Martin as he struggled to devour the carbonated excuse for a sausage!  Per, Cowboy and Martin were all rewarded with their Spooks.  Daniel missed out, but harsh judging was at fault, a bleeding tongue definately should have deserved a Spook.

With all ten Spooks having been won, there remained one King of the Spooks, namely, the Blue Spook.  This was to be rewarded  at 12.00 to the best crowd pleaser.  Ellise was first onto the score card after breaking the couch (onya Toby for later fixing it with masking tape!).  Fritz was on fire, literally, after jumping up onto the table with his pants around his ankles and skulling a bottle of Chilli dip.    Toby was going nutz as per usual "we saw more of Toby's arse than his face!"  He drew the lead when he came
running out with his balls hanging out either side of his jocks asking if anyone had seen his old fella!  Then he tried another version, where, nah, I think I have said enuf already!  The guy is CRAZZZZY!!!  Did he think we wouldnt recognise him with his Spook on?

In the boat races, there was a rule that if you spill you have to lick it up from the table!  Frantz saved his team disqualification and seemed to drink more off the table than what was in his glass!  Frantz was condending hard for the King of the Spooks!

Captain tried very hard to make us laugh with his enduring jokes.  He thought we were laughing with him, but we were actually laughing at him!! Onya Captain, stick to the books will ya!

Sunday morning Toby, on his first windsurfing camp,  was stressing about the state of the house,  "the floor is covered in beer stains"....."blah, blah, blah,"  ........."the house is %^&#ed"....... "your going to lose your bond!"  But we had seen it all before, "nah, this is normal" Captain replied.

"I dont like seeing food go to waste" scoffed Toby as he was eating all the left overs, including raw eggs, uncooked burgers, a whole lettuce, NutriGrain and whatever else he could devour! A big thanks goes out for all who helped to clean up the house, sure its a big task, but with many helpers it all gets done without too much hassle.

The alternator wasnt working, the battery was steadily depleting and the lights were so dull we could hardly see a reflection from the cat eye reflectors on the road.  We new Goatie and the crew were still behind us, so we pulled into the Cranbourne BP service station.  I was hesitant to turn off the ignition as I knew that once it was off there was no way my battery could start the van up again, but what else could I do?  We checked out the alternator leads but to no avail.

Decked out in shorts and t-shirts we stood beside the road in front of BP. Our aim was to spot one of the cars, signal them down, change over the batteries, and drive on!  Progressively we went back to the van, decking our selves out with warmer clothes.  It was getting mighty cold out there.

In attempting to generate some warmth we started bopping in sequence and jumping around, but always concentrating on the passing cars.  We would much rather be cold and with a fixed car, than warm and stuck at Cranbourne!

Over an hour had passed, Davo and I had put some long pants on, Tobe was still in his shorts!  "I'm not putting my jeans, they stink of beer!"

Still cold, we took it in turn to go back the van and get our Spooks.  So there we were, three guys wearing full face balaclava's (Spooks) standing beside the road waiting for any Sandy Point crew to drive past.  "They've got to recognise us now" said Davo.  Who else would stand beside the road wearing balaclavas waving cars.  The coldest parts were the mouth and eye openings.

Along came the Jacks, we thought nothing of it as they turned into the service station, we were more concerned about spotting the others. Suddenly, from behind us, came some determined shouts to "move apart", "hands out of your pockets", "take off the masks", I was waiting for the call to put our hands in the air, but that never came!  There were two pursuit cars and three jacks yelling at us.  "If we miss the others coz of these...." Tobe pronounced.

We all worked our ways back around to face the oncoming cars, despite the commotion, we were more focussed on spotting the others, much to the frustration of the jacks.

"You look like a dick head wearing that" insulted one of the jacks.  "I'm not going to be called a dick head by you" protested Tobe to the short Jack feeling like the enforcer in his uniform.

"You got any ID" "Its in the van", I replied  "You been in trouble with us before?" questioned the Jack.  Thinking about the way he termed his question, I took it upon myself to assume by 'us' he meant the Cranbourne Police, so confidently I replied in the negative.

So there I was hoping they wouldnt do a police check, and Tobe was the complete opposite..... "I've got nothing to hide"  "You stop being a smart arse or I'll charge you for being a hinderance to our investigations"  I wanted to tell Tobe to take it easy, but I new that would probably just ark him up even more.

With our Spooks off, the Jack on the power trip got us to face him (stupid thing was, we were facing the cars, so we were watching the cars instead of him).  He starts abusing us some more, telling us that he could charge us all with "Disguised Identity", I gulped at the thought of it, and then Tobe calls out "Is that them?" as he jumped and waved frantically.  I am not sure if he did it just to frustrate the Jack even more, but my palms were getting sweaty.  He walked over to Tobe, with the copper book in his hand, I thought he was going to start writing the charge out.  "You look at me when I am talking to you" he shooted.  You could almost feel his delight in yelling at three guys towering over him.  The short Jack then gave us a lecture on "his" town.  Tobe was muttering comments, but none of the Jacks could hear him.

The Jacks left with some threatening comments, which only seemed to fire Tobe up even more.  "He's a nobody without that uniform on"  "wonder what time his shift finishes..."  "he probably joined the force so he would stop getting harrased"  Tobe was hungry for a knuckle sandwhich.

---------------

Who had a heated discussion in the Fish and Chip shop about Dim Sims not being junk food!
Who were almost charged with 'False Identity' for wearing their Spooks!
Who broke their leg and had to be flown home in the helicopter!
Who cooked the corn flakes in the microwave for 23 minutes!
Who got pulled over by the cops outside the general store!
Who tied the masts onto the trailer! (who didnt!!)
Who was setting the new fasion statements!
Who got dipped in the water full clothed!
Who thought the painting was a guitar!
Who did the best 'donut' in the sand!
Who slept together Saturday night!
Who drove home with no lights!
Who used all the toilet paper!
Who took out the goal post!
Who took the most photos!
Who went skinny dipping!
Who slept in the trailer!
Who had the most fun!
Whos coming again!
Who chundered!
Who is Who!
Who?
?

Thanks goes to Carl Cubitt - Head honcho of the Windwankers for writing the above
http://minyos.its.rmit.edu.au/~windsurf.
 

First Intermediate / Advanced lessons session of the year, and everyone was impressed.

The Dirty Six : Steve, Abe, Almut, Per, Martin, Jean-Pierre.

Situation: One night (in my boss's parents house on Phillip Island) and one day at the beach being taught how to compete.

Saturday evening was one disaster after another. Five people pulled out and decided not to drive down, opting to either go down Sunday morning or not go all together (argh). That left six people to fit into my five seat car to drive down to the Island (2 hour drive). I didn't want to kill the shocks in the car any more than they already were, so I decided (after MUCH agonising, ok!!! Per & Almut) that one or two would have to take the train to Cranbourne.. argh.. So Per and Almut decided to go together down there and we'd meet them at the train station...  Sounds good so far?? After talking to Greg about motorbikes and surfing all the way to the City, I had forgotten one minor item. The Bloody Key To The House!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Half way between Cranbourne and Phillip Island, for some reason I remembered... Something jolted my brain into action and we had some decisions to make... Do we keep driving, drop everyone off at the pub in Cowes and then drive all the way back to the fucking city, or do we drop everyone off at the pub in Cranbourne and then drive back to the city? We decided to break the news to Per and Almut (waiting for us in the pub at Cranbourne) that they would have to wait there for another 2 hours while I drive with Greg back to the city. At least they had the company of Martin and Jean-Pierre.

In the mean time, Chris calls me up and asks if I know anyone in a blue station wagon... My mind is racing at this moment... has my boss's mum come down? If not, who is it then?!?!?! It's sitting in the driveway of the house. It turns out that Pete (Radar) decided to come down Saturday night, and not in the morning... phew....

Time: 11:15pm. We got back to Cranbourne after being called a Looser by my brother, mum and boss when I picked up the key and decided that we should get everyone down to the Island soon, so 4 cram into the back and 2 in the front of the car. After a quite a few beers down the hatch, everyone was pretty damn lively in the back.

We reach the Island by a little after midnight, and spend until 4am watching surfing videos and ignoring the need for sleep by consuming quite a few more stubbies.

The rest to come.... when I feel like writing more....

-By Steven Tanti